Starting Anew
by Ishaya
Summary: What if somehow Sonea got a new chance at life and could have the chance to gain everything back... or loose everything including her life? Will she sacrifice her love or be selfish once again? / Sonea/Akkarin / Story is better than the summary I promise.
1. Chapter one

Hey this is my first Black Magician fanfic. I absolutely fell in love with the characters, but I hate the ending Canvan gave it. So I'm gonna change it! Have fun! May be a little different because I read the books in Polish ;p

Disclaimer: Sadly I don't owe anything, except AU characters.

_text - _thoughts

**text** - memories

* * *

**All was silent. Sonea stared at the three bodies lying before the University. A wave of exhaustion washed over her. She felt no triumph. No pleasure. Just emptiness. She turned to Akkarin.**

**A smile curled the edge of his lips. His eyes were open, but fixed somewhere beyond her. As she moved, the hands about her wrists loosened and fell away.**

**"No," she whispered. "Akkarin." Grabbing his hands, she sent her mind inward. Nothing. Not even the slightest spark of life.**

**He had given her too much power.**

**He had given her everything.**

**With shaking hands, Sonea ran her fingers over his face, then bent forward and kissed his lifeless mouth**

**Then she curled herself around him and began to cry.**

_It has been two years since the battle with the Ichini. Two freaking years._ Sonea lay on her bed in the Black Magician house not even trying to stop the tears from flowing out of the corners of her deep blue eyes. She couldn't forgive him. She refused to do it. _He gave me everything and yet left with absolutely nothing. _Except Aithne. Her daughter.

Sonea knew she wasn't a good mother. Far from that. She was too deeply wounded. Too depressed to seem to care. And today she felt ashamed. _She's only two years old. _How could she not be interested in the well being of the child?

"Enough. I won't cry any more. I'm not weak. Akkarin wouldn't want me too. " she said to herself and got up from the wet bed. Sighting she approached the wardrobe and took out the black robe. It always reminded her of him.

_Akkarin._

She put it on and opened the door wondering where could Lady Vinara be. She always took care of Aithne for her. _She understood. She shoulden't._ Feeling more and more bad about herself she went out into the night. Then she felt something knock her out.

_Aithne_

* * *

She opened her eyes and blinked a the rays of light reached them. Sonea sat up wondering what happened. Looking around she was quite shocked to see her old room in Rothen's apartment. She frowned and got up slowly. _What is going on? Surely Rothen wouldn't bring me here?_ Slightly suspicious and confused she turned to the glass mirror that hung on the wall and gasped looking at herself in horror and utter shock. She touched her face i wonder.

"Oh my god," Sonea whispered looking at her seventeen-year-old face. Blinking again a few times she dressed in a simple robe that is laying on the armchair. A moment later there is a knock on the door.

"Come in," she says proud that her voice didn't shake._ I gone back in time. But how?_. Before she had time to consider that a happy Rothen came in to the small room looking at her with... was that pride?

"Exited? This is your first day as a novice" All Sonea could muster to do is nod. Then she thought a while.

"Um... Rothen? I think I should move to the novice quarters"

Her mentor- soon not to be- looked shocked and wounded.

"I don't want people to start talking", she explained patiently waiting for it to sink it. When it did his mouth was agape.

"Your probably right about that one. I'll arrange it. Now go you have lessons."

Sonea nodded and walked out with a thoughtful look.

* * *

She walked in to the class and noticed she was first. She took a place in the front row. This time she intended to show everyone that she is not thinking herself less then they are. The classroom started to fill quickly after the bell ran and Sonea noticed a lot of the novices looking at her with different emotions: disdain, disgust, loathing and hatred. Then Regin came in. Sonea tried to hide her mocking smile and succeeded.

"Alight, today yo are going to learn control. It will take about two weeks. Every single one of you will have their teacher." Rector Jerrik said and started to call names and sending them to different classrooms. When everyone was gone he turned to Sonea and said sharply,"As you have already learnt control you will be staying here. "

Sonea was left alone and had time to think.

_What am I going to do when Akkarin is going to read my mind? I have to prevent that somehow but then I won't be his apprentice and.... Kyralia is more important than me. For once I have to think about everyone not only me._

Even if it means loosing her one and only love. Her Akkarin.

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Yep short but I don't want it long right now. First chapters are supposed to be short in my opinion.

**REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!!!!**


	2. Chapter two

Hey! I couldn't wait to write this chapter! Thank you so much for reviewing. I just hope that I'll get more in the future. I try to update quick but don't expect much I do have final exams in a month and I'm not good in science... No good at all.

I'm wondering if not turn this into a angst fic.... Happy endings are common... welll..... just keep reading on!

Disclaimer: I don't owe the trilogy sadly for I wouldn't kill Akki!

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The next day Sonea woke up already at the novice's quarters. She yawned and looked out the window. It was a gloomy day for summer. Small rain droplets hit the window.

She remembered Regin's apology. He wasn't evil. He was just an aristocrat. A member of one of the Houses. That's all that's to it. It really wasn't his fault. But still she had no intention on going easy on him because of what happened in her past. No way.

But the thing that hurt the most is the question 'Did Akkarin want to die?'. What if his love for her wasn't enough to keep him going? What if loosing his first love, the guild's trust, Lorlen's friendship and his position was too much to handle?

One single tear fell form her cheek. She wiped it away. She will have to be strong. For the Guild's sake and for hers.

She waved her hand and was instantly dressed and clean. It was one of her 'neat tricks' as Dorrien called them.

_Dorrien._

She felt a pang in her heart. he has never stopped loving her. Never found anyone. And to the irony of it all she just couldn't find a way to move on and return the emotion. _How hard was it for him to be her friend?_

Tears destined never to fall glistened her eyes. She walked out and slammed the door shut doing the same with the unwanted thoughts. She just hid them behind a door.

It was about six in the morning and Sonea was walking toward a clearing Akkarin has showed her once. She passed the trees and when she got to the glade she saw a figure there in a black robe.

_Akkarin._

She stopped dead in her tracks her feet wet from the morning dew. Akkarin felt someone presence and turned around to Sonea looking at him as if she saw him for the first time in her life. she remembered her place quickly and bowed.

"High Lord" she said a little bit sadly. The black haired man looked at her with interest.

"What are you doing here so early, Sonea?" He asked coldly not taking his eyes off her. Sonea looked up straight into his dark eyes.

"I'm an early riser, High Lord." Her answer was soft. A small smile tugged at her lips. "Forgive me if I interuppted you, I had no such intention."

With a heavy heart she turned around and headed back. She really should study a little so it wasn't like she had nothing to do.

Akkarin looked at her furrowing his eyebrows. He felt weird. _What is wrong with me?_

* * *

"Sonea what is the circulatory system?" Sonea's healing teacher has asked. She looked at her slightly bored. _Why do I have to do this again?_

"The circulatory system is an organ system that passes nutrients, gases, hormones and blood cells to and from cells in the body to help fight deceases and stabilize body temperature as well as pH to maintain homoeostasis" she recited a line from her old book. The Lady looked a little bit surprised and impressed.

"Very well Sonea..." At that moment the bell rang, "Al right I want everyone to write me a paper on the human circulatory system and deaseases that affect it. At least one thousand words. Class dismissed"

As everyone stood up to go out Sonea saw something on her desk. A pen. And it wasn't hers. she sighted looking at it with melancholy in her eyes. Concentrating she teleported the object into Regin's hand. He looked at it in shock.

"Hey! That's mine!" A girl shouted looking at the boy with suprise mixed with horror._ Yes, who would've thought the king himself would snoop to a dwells level._

Snickering she passed the lord's and ladies chucking. Sonea knew that if he would like to prove his innocence they would invade his mind to check. If he didn't agree to that he would be foung guilty. Either way there is no was something is going to happen to her...

_Now I have time to think.... how about I go into the city and practise mind reading? Maybe I'll find a way to be invisible to the invaded person. And see if I get some help out of the knowledge. Like shielding your memories without another knowing._

Happy with her plan she started forward the entrance gate.

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Hope you liked it. Wanted to makie it longer but it woulden't be as interesting and I like teasing people! Writing fics on fanfiction is so much better than on blogs!

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